‘Bro-time’

I RECENTLY RETURNED FROM A FAMILY HOLIDAY A DAY EARLY. BY ITSELF THIS WOULDN’T BE A DRAMA EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THE REST OF THE FAMILY STAYED ON.

Yes, that’s right. My wife has to look after the twins for approximately 27 hours by herself.

As I write this I’m on a plane flying away from my babies who to me feel like they’re all alone in a strange land. They have their mother of course, who is not a stranger to them but who is in fact a stranger to hands-on parenting.

In a perfect world I pick up my family tomorrow at the airport and my wife has a newfound respect for parenting. More likely she will have a newfound craving for alcohol.

I’m joking of course (mostly) but I have to admit to trepidation whenever I manage to have some ‘me time’. Grandma is awesome but not always available and while the lovely wife loves the kids she struggles somewhat when it comes to the little things of parenting.

Like cooking. Or supervision. Answering questions. Or being patient for more than five minutes.

A few times a year I have a boys’ long weekend with mates who go way back. Who know all my dirty secrets and hang out with me anyway. Or because of them – it’s all a bit a fuzzy.

Anyway these ‘bro-breaks’ are wonderful chances to kick back, catch up, play cards, enjoy a few drinks, lambast politicians and review quantum theory. In theory it’s 72-86 hours of quality time away. In practice it’s 24 hours of missing the girls and worrying about how they’re doing, followed by a few drinks, a sleep and ‘oh look it’s time to pack’.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great time but I can’t help but spare a few thoughts about the kids’ diet, their bedtime and my wife’s mental state. Perhaps I’m being unduly paranoid. Just because she has burnt microwave meals before (yes, it is possible as it turns out) doesn’t mean she can’t put something in front of them. Baked beans and two-minute noodles are easy enough.

And maybe a day of just the three girls will bring them closer together. Let them bond. Turn out to be quality mother-daughters time.

But just in case I might pack that bottle of wine for the airport pickup.

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